10 of the funniest quotes, as told by gentlemen

10 of the funniest quotes, as told by gentlemen

History gave us a lot of comedic gentlemen. Apparently the genius of these men knows no boundaries from Socrates to Oscar Wilde. A gentleman must always use wit, sarcasm and humor to his advantage as a matter of principle. Whether it’s outsmarting a fiend, making friends laugh, or just for the sheer fun of it, being funny will always put you in a good place in society. So, as gentlemen have said, to give you a little humorous inspiration, here are 10 of the funniest quotes.

“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back”

– Oscar Wilde

“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings”

– Robert Bloch

“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad”

– Miles Kington

“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher”

– Socrates

“Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience”

– Greg King

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch”

– Jack Nicholson

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go”

– Oscar Wilde

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house”

– Rod Stewart

“Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason”

– José Maria de Eça de Queiroz

“There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you’re interrupting”

– Mark Twain

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